3 Steps to Avoid Holiday Disaster & Create Peace

Are you dreading the holidays?

When you’re already struggling because of your child’s addiction, the holidays can quickly compound that stress.

You can’t control what your child does, but you can be intentional with how you respond to what happens this year and set the tone for your family.

Step 1

Decide ahead of time  – Take all the questions and concerns you’re ruminating about and use them to your advantage.

What are you anticipating happening?

What goes wrong every year or has been an issue lately?

Decide right now how your going to respond to those situations.  Don’t wait until emotions are high. 

When emotions are high, decisions making skills are low. 

Don’t wait. Decide now. 

When I was trying to change how I responded to situations I analyzed every situation that I didn’t like how I respond to it. 

I wrote down what went wrong, why it went wrong, and what I wanted to do next time. 

I did that over and over until it became second nature and I started being proud of my responses instead of mortified by them.

Step 2


Acceptance is not approval. 

It is simply receiving the situation as it is, rather than wasting energy resisting it or fighting it. 

When you accept it, you are no longer telling yourself it should not be happening. 

You accept that this is reality and figure out how to work with the situation.

When you’re struggling with your child’s addiction, you’re in a marathon, not a sprint. 

Acceptance will help you conserve your energy so you can go the distance.

Give yourself the gift of allowing your child to be who they are and meet them where they’re at.

Step 3

Keep it clean.  

Clean pain.

Don’t make anyone’s behavior or choices about you.

Addiction sucks.

You’re sad.  

It hurts.

End of story.

That’s enough.  

Don’t add to it.

Don’t tell yourself it’s because you’re not a good enough parent, or they don’t respect you, or if they loved you enough they would do something different.  

Just allow the sadness or disappointment or whatever it is.