How often do you feel pressured to make decisions quickly?
If you’ve been dealing with a child’s addiction, seeing an incoming call from their number or any unknown number can instantly create a panic/stress response in you.
You never know what you’re going to be met with on the other end of the phone.
If they’re asking you for something, it’s often very urgent to them.
It takes practice and a plan if you want to stop reacting to their urgency and give yourself time to decide how you want to respond intentionally.
It’s up to you to create the space you need to make decisions.
My personal policy is not to make decisions under pressure unless it’s a true emergency.
I own that the problem is NOT the pressure the other person is trying to put on me.
The problem is my discomfort with saying “no, I need time to think about this”, then following through if my no is met with resistance.
I own the responsibility because I’m the only person I can control.
Expecting them to change leaves me stuck and disempowered.
Here are some of the things that I do to create space for myself to make decisions.
None of these are lies to avoid the situation.
They’re all things I actually do.
- Create physical distance between myself and the person who is pressuring me so I can think without having to feel their presence. It’s easy if it’s over the phone, but if it’s in person I leave the house or go in another room and shut the door. I like to go for a walk if it’s a big decision. There’s something about being out in nature and moving my body that makes it easier for me to make decisions I feel clear and confident about.
- Say I need to meditate about it. Meditation allows me to get heart centered, release my fears about the future, and focus on the present moment. All the answers are within me, I just need to create space so I can see them.
- I say I need to pray about it.
- I commit to when I will respond and then I keep my commitment. Depending on how much time I think I need I might commit to 15 minutes or the next day. It just depends on what feels right to me based on what I’m deciding.
If my methods don’t resonate with you, take the time to figure out what works for you.
Know what you’re going to say ahead of time.
Follow through when you get the call.
Keep practicing until creating space for yourself is second nature.