Heather Burgess Ross

The key to finding peace of mind and happiness when your child is struggling with addiction

Let go of how you thought your child’s life would be Let go of how you think your day will go today Move forward with surrender, acceptance, and a new approach The video below is an example of me letting go. Nothing went as planned. I was on a time constraint, the sound and lighting …

The key to finding peace of mind and happiness when your child is struggling with addiction Read More »

How To Overcome Shame & Fear Of Judgement About Your Child’s Addiction

When I started working with parents whose kids are struggling with addiction I knew that shame would be a hurdle for them to overcome to get help. I dealt with it myself. Shame keeps us from all the things we want and need in order to begin healing. It’s a separator but what we need …

How To Overcome Shame & Fear Of Judgement About Your Child’s Addiction Read More »

kitten, cute, cat

Our need to know what’s going to happen so that we can be OK, is the reason we aren’t OK!

How comfortable are you with the unknown? How much time do you spend trying to “figure it all out”? Our need to know what’s going to happen at all times can cause us tremendous suffering. We spend so much time trying to figure out what’s going to happen in the future that we lose track …

Our need to know what’s going to happen so that we can be OK, is the reason we aren’t OK! Read More »

What’s your biggest complaint about your child that’s abusing substances?

In February some girlfriends and I took a weekend trip to Dallas. We stayed at a fun hotel in an area where we could walk to nearby restaurants.  Our first night there we were excited that a drive only 3 hours south made such a difference in the temperature.  As we walked into the courtyard, …

What’s your biggest complaint about your child that’s abusing substances? Read More »

Addiction Can Be A Teacher – Some Lessons I’ve Learned

When your child started abusing substances your life as you knew it changed.  What worked before no longer works.  Continuing to do the same thing expecting different results is insanity.  If you want to feel better, you have to make changes.  It doesn’t matter that your child’s addiction is the source of your pain.  It …

Addiction Can Be A Teacher – Some Lessons I’ve Learned Read More »

How To Master Your Feelings So You Don’t Feel So Out Of Control Part 2

The majority of this blog post is my interpretation of the book The Secret Language of Feelings by Calvin D. Banyan. This is part 2 of 2 blog posts. If you haven’t read part 1 yet, click here to read it. Remember from last week that primary feelings are experienced to signal you as soon …

How To Master Your Feelings So You Don’t Feel So Out Of Control Part 2 Read More »

How To Create Confidence When Your Child Is Abusing Substances

When your child is abusing substances, it can take a toll on your confidence when you need it most. General confidence comes from knowledge and practice, so the more experience you have at something, the more confident you become.  (I’m confident I can walk because I do it all day every day) Self confidence is …

How To Create Confidence When Your Child Is Abusing Substances Read More »

Why You Have To Give Up Your Identity As The Mother Of A Substance Abuser – Waking Yourself Up From The Fog Of Your Child’s Substance Abuse

There is so much more power in letting go of this identity than keeping it.  Think about labeling someone with the stigma of “addict” rather than referring to them as a person who suffers from addiction.  The difference between the two is one defines a person and the other one refers to an aspect of …

Why You Have To Give Up Your Identity As The Mother Of A Substance Abuser – Waking Yourself Up From The Fog Of Your Child’s Substance Abuse Read More »

How Addiction Affects The Brain & Dopamine

The National Institute of Drug Abuse (NIDA) defines addiction as a chronic, relapsing brain disease that is characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use, despite harmful consequences. Once someone is addicted, they’re not using drugs to feel good; they’re using drugs just to feel “normal”.  Behavioral changes are directly linked to the drug user’s changing brain. …

How Addiction Affects The Brain & Dopamine Read More »

Why it’s hard to change how you feel when your child is abusing substances

Familiarity feels good to us.  Even when it’s the familiarity of worry, anger, fear, guilt, or confusion.  We don’t like how those emotions feel, but we know them, so there is a sense of comfort with them.  I was talking to someone the other day who feels a lot of discomfort when she tries to …

Why it’s hard to change how you feel when your child is abusing substances Read More »