The Oklahoman Newspaper – 21st Century Women
Click to read the article. https://oklahoman.com/article/5658958/outlook-2020-if-theres-a-void-in-your-community-fill-it-heather-ross-says
Processing Anxiety
If we want to feel the highest of high emotions, we have to be willing to feel the lowest of low emotions. It’s just how we work as humans. Whose experiencing anxiety today and frustrated about it? I’m guessing more of you than usual. I’m right there with you lately. Earlier this week I was …
Processing Anxiety
If we want to feel the highest of high emotions, we have to be willing to feel the lowest of low emotions. It’s just how we work as humans. Whose experiencing anxiety today and frustrated about it? I’m guessing more of you than usual. I’m right there with you lately. Earlier this week I was …
Working through panic about feeling anxiety
When we experience emotional pain about our kids and their addiction an urgent panic often comes with that pain. That only intensifies our experience and makes us want to run from it even more. The other day I was sitting outside talking with my family and a wave of emotional pain came over me. I …
Enabling
Enabler- it’s one of those words that evokes a lot of emotion. It’s confusing. We don’t always know what enabling is, so we feel panicked and wrong about everything we do to help our kids. No parent wants to be labeled an enabler; we’re struggling with enough guilt already. Sometimes doing anything kind for your …
What’s your biggest complaint about your child that’s abusing substances?
In February some girlfriends and I took a weekend trip to Dallas. We stayed at a fun hotel in an area where we could walk to nearby restaurants. Our first night there we were excited that a drive only 3 hours south made such a difference in the temperature. As we walked into the courtyard, …
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Addiction Can Be A Teacher – Some Lessons I’ve Learned
When your child started abusing substances your life as you knew it changed. What worked before no longer works. Continuing to do the same thing expecting different results is insanity. If you want to feel better, you have to make changes. It doesn’t matter that your child’s addiction is the source of your pain. It …
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The Owner’s Manual For Your Brain
I find some of the comments people write on my Facebook ads interesting. Some people are supportive and thank me, others think I shouldn’t charge anything for coaching (they don’t realize how much I give away for free), others suggest that al-anon is the only way and I’m wrong for offering an alternative or supplement …
How To Master Your Feelings So You Don’t Feel So Out Of Control Part 2
The majority of this blog post is my interpretation of the book The Secret Language of Feelings by Calvin D. Banyan. This is part 2 of 2 blog posts. If you haven’t read part 1 yet, click here to read it. Remember from last week that primary feelings are experienced to signal you as soon …
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How To Master Your Feelings So You Don’t Feel So Out Of Control!
I read the book The Secret Language of Feelings by Calvin D. Banyan recently and knew I had to share it with you. This is part 1 of 2 blog posts. I love this book because it pairs perfectly with what I teach as a life coach. Our brains work in a think, feel, act cycle. Very …
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How To Create Confidence When Your Child Is Abusing Substances
When your child is abusing substances, it can take a toll on your confidence when you need it most. General confidence comes from knowledge and practice, so the more experience you have at something, the more confident you become. (I’m confident I can walk because I do it all day every day) Self confidence is …
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Why You Have To Give Up Your Identity As The Mother Of A Substance Abuser – Waking Yourself Up From The Fog Of Your Child’s Substance Abuse
There is so much more power in letting go of this identity than keeping it. Think about labeling someone with the stigma of “addict” rather than referring to them as a person who suffers from addiction. The difference between the two is one defines a person and the other one refers to an aspect of …
How Addiction Affects The Brain & Dopamine
The National Institute of Drug Abuse (NIDA) defines addiction as a chronic, relapsing brain disease that is characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use, despite harmful consequences. Once someone is addicted, they’re not using drugs to feel good; they’re using drugs just to feel “normal”. Behavioral changes are directly linked to the drug user’s changing brain. …
Why it’s hard to change how you feel when your child is abusing substances
Familiarity feels good to us. Even when it’s the familiarity of worry, anger, fear, guilt, or confusion. We don’t like how those emotions feel, but we know them, so there is a sense of comfort with them. I was talking to someone the other day who feels a lot of discomfort when she tries to …
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Do you feel responsible for your teen/young adult’s substance abuse?
There we were in the psychologist’s office. I was sitting on the love seat. My daughter was in a chair and the psychologist was in another chair next to her. I was facing both of them. My daughter was telling me and the psychologist all the ways I was a bad mom, all the reasons …
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You can be happy whether your child is sober or not…
Where are you living your life? Are you living in the past where things were better before your teen/young adult child started abusing substances? Are you living in the future that will be better because you hope your child will be sober and everything will be OK again? Living in the past or the future …
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Why you can’t help your child who is suffering from addiction or abusing substances
It all starts with our natural coping mechanisms and why we aren’t helping ourselves either Apathy is a lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern. It’s the feeling of not feeling and what I refer to as feeling numb. Numbness was my preferred feeling for a few years. It was my coping mechanism when my daughter’s …
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Why you want to control your teen or young adult child when they are abusing substances and why it doesn’t work
I often wonder where the perception of control comes from or why we think we should be able to control other people. When my daughter started abusing substances and I couldn’t control her behavior or get her to change it, I felt like I was failing as a mother. Why couldn’t I figure out how …
The SECRET to a better life!
ONE single thing I learned has created the most change in my life and given me more of a sense of control in my life than anything else. My life is created by my THOUGHTS. I’m the analytical type so it just sounded like some kind of woo woo BS when I first heard …
How do you feel about the way your addicted child treats you?
I often hear overwhelmed parents venting about what their addicted child is doing to them. How their child is treating them. This unhealthy relationship with no balance happens over time. Addiction rears its ugly head in their home. Parents don’t know what to do. They try to research for help, but all they find is …
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