How We’re More Like Our Kids Who Are Abusing Substances Than We Think

Buffering is using any false pleasure like drugs, food, alcohol, shopping, gambling, people, social media, or anything else outside of ourselves to avoid experiencing our feelings. 

Those external substances create temporary or momentary feelings of comfort, but they don’t last.

It’s a short term solution to a long term problem that often creates more consequences and less emotional freedom.

If your pleasure is coming from outside of you then you are always going to feel dependent and inadequate. 

We don’t want to experience negative emotions, so we fall into a trap of using those false pleasures to escape the negative emotions. 

Everyone does this to some extent, but some of us end up abusing those substances over and over in order to avoid our feelings. 

That keeps us from learning how to overcome our obstacles or learning how to manage our feelings that create discomfort.

Boredom, overwhelm, sadness, discomfort about saying no or setting boundaries, and worry are some of the feelings that I will find myself buffering over if I go unconscious and don’t work through the cause of those emotions. 

True healing and happiness begin when you learn to find pleasure and comfort within yourself. 

You will feel confident because you don’t have to depend on anyone or anything else to manage your feelings.

Working through your discomfort caused by negative emotions is the currency for mental health.

There is always discomfort either way. 

You can choose the discomfort of a hangover, feeling sick from over eating, the number on the scale going up, no money because you bought things you couldn’t afford or gambled, wasted hours spent scrolling through social media, or trying to get someone to behave right so you can feel better or you can choose the discomfort of saying no to the buffers and working through your feelings to gain trust in yourself, create confidence, and emotional health.