Finding Peace

The more we try to help our kids the more we lose ourselves sometimes. Tips for reclaiming control of your life.

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Our need to know what’s going to happen so that we can be OK, is the reason we aren’t OK!

How comfortable are you with the unknown? How much time do you spend trying to “figure it all out”? Our need to know what’s going to happen at all times can cause us tremendous suffering. We spend so much time trying to figure out what’s going to happen in the future that we lose track …

Our need to know what’s going to happen so that we can be OK, is the reason we aren’t OK! Read More »

Enabling

Enabler- it’s one of those words that evokes a lot of emotion.  It’s confusing.  We don’t always know what enabling is, so we feel panicked and wrong about everything we do to help our kids. No parent wants to be labeled an enabler; we’re struggling with enough guilt already. Sometimes doing anything kind for your …

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What’s your biggest complaint about your child that’s abusing substances?

In February some girlfriends and I took a weekend trip to Dallas. We stayed at a fun hotel in an area where we could walk to nearby restaurants.  Our first night there we were excited that a drive only 3 hours south made such a difference in the temperature.  As we walked into the courtyard, …

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Addiction Can Be A Teacher – Some Lessons I’ve Learned

When your child started abusing substances your life as you knew it changed.  What worked before no longer works.  Continuing to do the same thing expecting different results is insanity.  If you want to feel better, you have to make changes.  It doesn’t matter that your child’s addiction is the source of your pain.  It …

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Why You Have To Give Up Your Identity As The Mother Of A Substance Abuser – Waking Yourself Up From The Fog Of Your Child’s Substance Abuse

There is so much more power in letting go of this identity than keeping it.  Think about labeling someone with the stigma of “addict” rather than referring to them as a person who suffers from addiction.  The difference between the two is one defines a person and the other one refers to an aspect of …

Why You Have To Give Up Your Identity As The Mother Of A Substance Abuser – Waking Yourself Up From The Fog Of Your Child’s Substance Abuse Read More »

Why it’s hard to change how you feel when your child is abusing substances

Familiarity feels good to us.  Even when it’s the familiarity of worry, anger, fear, guilt, or confusion.  We don’t like how those emotions feel, but we know them, so there is a sense of comfort with them.  I was talking to someone the other day who feels a lot of discomfort when she tries to …

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Why you can’t help your child who is suffering from addiction or abusing substances

It all starts with our natural coping mechanisms and why we aren’t helping ourselves either Apathy is a lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern. It’s the feeling of not feeling and what I refer to as feeling numb. Numbness was my preferred feeling for a few years.  It was my coping mechanism when my daughter’s …

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Why you want to control your teen or young adult child when they are abusing substances and why it doesn’t work

I often wonder where the perception of control comes from or why we think we should be able to control other people. When my daughter started abusing substances and I couldn’t control her behavior or get her to change it, I felt like I was failing as a mother. Why couldn’t I figure out how …

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How do you feel about the way your addicted child treats you?

I often hear overwhelmed parents venting about what their addicted child is doing to them.  How their child is treating them.  This unhealthy relationship with no balance happens over time.  Addiction rears its ugly head in their home.  Parents don’t know what to do.  They try to research for help, but all they find is …

How do you feel about the way your addicted child treats you? Read More »