The more we try to help our kids the more we lose ourselves sometimes. Tips for reclaiming control of your life.
When I started working with parents whose kids are struggling with addiction I knew that shame would be a hurdle for them to overcome to get help. I dealt with it myself. Shame keeps us from all the things we want and need in order to begin healing. It’s a separator but what we need …
How To Overcome Shame & Fear Of Judgement About Your Child’s Addiction Read More »
When our children are addicted to drugs and alcohol, it’s painful. We often make it worse though by beating ourselves up over it and making their addiction or actions about us instead of letting it just be what it is. When I stopped adding to the pain of my daughter’s addiction and just sat with …
May is Mental Health Awareness Month We’re only as sick as our secrets & mental health is a topic that has been shrouded in secrecy and shame for too long. That’s why it’s so misunderstood. We need to talk about it more. Share this video and use it to start the conversation. One of the …
Mental health has to be worked at like physical heath. Read More »
How comfortable are you with the unknown? How much time do you spend trying to “figure it all out”? Our need to know what’s going to happen at all times can cause us tremendous suffering. We spend so much time trying to figure out what’s going to happen in the future that we lose track …
If we want to feel the highest of high emotions, we have to be willing to feel the lowest of low emotions. It’s just how we work as humans. Whose experiencing anxiety today and frustrated about it? I’m guessing more of you than usual. I’m right there with you lately. Earlier this week I was …
If we want to feel the highest of high emotions, we have to be willing to feel the lowest of low emotions. It’s just how we work as humans. Whose experiencing anxiety today and frustrated about it? I’m guessing more of you than usual. I’m right there with you lately. Earlier this week I was …
When we experience emotional pain about our kids and their addiction an urgent panic often comes with that pain. That only intensifies our experience and makes us want to run from it even more. The other day I was sitting outside talking with my family and a wave of emotional pain came over me. I …
Enabler- it’s one of those words that evokes a lot of emotion. It’s confusing. We don’t always know what enabling is, so we feel panicked and wrong about everything we do to help our kids. No parent wants to be labeled an enabler; we’re struggling with enough guilt already. Sometimes doing anything kind for your …
In February some girlfriends and I took a weekend trip to Dallas. We stayed at a fun hotel in an area where we could walk to nearby restaurants. Our first night there we were excited that a drive only 3 hours south made such a difference in the temperature. As we walked into the courtyard, …
What’s your biggest complaint about your child that’s abusing substances? Read More »
When your child started abusing substances your life as you knew it changed. What worked before no longer works. Continuing to do the same thing expecting different results is insanity. If you want to feel better, you have to make changes. It doesn’t matter that your child’s addiction is the source of your pain. It …
Addiction Can Be A Teacher – Some Lessons I’ve Learned Read More »
I find some of the comments people write on my Facebook ads interesting. Some people are supportive and thank me, others think I shouldn’t charge anything for coaching (they don’t realize how much I give away for free), others suggest that al-anon is the only way and I’m wrong for offering an alternative or supplement …
The majority of this blog post is my interpretation of the book The Secret Language of Feelings by Calvin D. Banyan. This is part 2 of 2 blog posts. If you haven’t read part 1 yet, click here to read it. Remember from last week that primary feelings are experienced to signal you as soon …
How To Master Your Feelings So You Don’t Feel So Out Of Control Part 2 Read More »
I read the book The Secret Language of Feelings by Calvin D. Banyan recently and knew I had to share it with you. This is part 1 of 2 blog posts. I love this book because it pairs perfectly with what I teach as a life coach. Our brains work in a think, feel, act cycle. Very …
How To Master Your Feelings So You Don’t Feel So Out Of Control! Read More »
When your child is abusing substances, it can take a toll on your confidence when you need it most. General confidence comes from knowledge and practice, so the more experience you have at something, the more confident you become. (I’m confident I can walk because I do it all day every day) Self confidence is …
How To Create Confidence When Your Child Is Abusing Substances Read More »
There is so much more power in letting go of this identity than keeping it. Think about labeling someone with the stigma of “addict” rather than referring to them as a person who suffers from addiction. The difference between the two is one defines a person and the other one refers to an aspect of …
Familiarity feels good to us. Even when it’s the familiarity of worry, anger, fear, guilt, or confusion. We don’t like how those emotions feel, but we know them, so there is a sense of comfort with them. I was talking to someone the other day who feels a lot of discomfort when she tries to …
Why it’s hard to change how you feel when your child is abusing substances Read More »
Where are you living your life? Are you living in the past where things were better before your teen/young adult child started abusing substances? Are you living in the future that will be better because you hope your child will be sober and everything will be OK again? Living in the past or the future …
You can be happy whether your child is sober or not… Read More »
It all starts with our natural coping mechanisms and why we aren’t helping ourselves either Apathy is a lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern. It’s the feeling of not feeling and what I refer to as feeling numb. Numbness was my preferred feeling for a few years. It was my coping mechanism when my daughter’s …
Why you can’t help your child who is suffering from addiction or abusing substances Read More »
I often wonder where the perception of control comes from or why we think we should be able to control other people. When my daughter started abusing substances and I couldn’t control her behavior or get her to change it, I felt like I was failing as a mother. Why couldn’t I figure out how …
ONE single thing I learned has created the most change in my life and given me more of a sense of control in my life than anything else. My life is created by my THOUGHTS. I’m the analytical type so it just sounded like some kind of woo woo BS when I first heard …