Relationship Repair

Tips for repairing your relationship with your child when they are abusing substances.

What’s your biggest complaint about your child that’s abusing substances?

In February some girlfriends and I took a weekend trip to Dallas. We stayed at a fun hotel in an area where we could walk to nearby restaurants.  Our first night there we were excited that a drive only 3 hours south made such a difference in the temperature.  As we walked into the courtyard, …

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Why you want to control your teen or young adult child when they are abusing substances and why it doesn’t work

I often wonder where the perception of control comes from or why we think we should be able to control other people. When my daughter started abusing substances and I couldn’t control her behavior or get her to change it, I felt like I was failing as a mother. Why couldn’t I figure out how …

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How do you feel about the way your addicted child treats you?

I often hear overwhelmed parents venting about what their addicted child is doing to them.  How their child is treating them.  This unhealthy relationship with no balance happens over time.  Addiction rears its ugly head in their home.  Parents don’t know what to do.  They try to research for help, but all they find is …

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Why you have to be like Wonder Woman and change your approach to parenting when your child is abusing substances

My robot vacuum (her name is Wonder Woman) reminds me of how I approached my daughter’s substance abuse when it first started. Several days in a row while I was sitting at my desk working, I noticed Wonder Woman was struggling to get into my office.  The transition into my office is higher than the …

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Relationship manuals and how they ruin your relationship with your son or daughter when they are abusing substances

Relationship manuals are detailed mental books of rules and expectations about what is normal and acceptable behavior for our children.  The difference between a manual and everyday parental rules and expectations is the emotional attachment to the outcome.  When you are emotionally attached to the outcome it is a manual.  The attachment to the outcome …

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Detaching With Love When Your Child Is Suffering From Addiction Or Abusing Substances

I avoided this subject for a while because it is so misunderstood.  I need to make sure I am clear with my message and don’t add to the confusion about detaching with love. The other day a mother asked if it was OK for her to text her addicted child to say she loved them. …

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7 steps for Difficult Conversations with your teen/young adult child

When there’s something that you need to talk to your son or daughter about and there’s a lot of negative emotion& tension involved, following these steps can change the outcome.   One person can change the whole tone of a conversation. Most of us have no idea how to communicate without blame, frustration, defensiveness, or …

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Setting boundaries with your child when they are abusing drugs and alcohol

Boundaries create clear lines between you and the world.  People often have fears about how others will feel about their boundaries and worry they will cause distance, but properly set boundaries lead to closer relationships.  People with naturally strong boundaries can be compassionate because they don’t feel taken advantage of.  If you feel taken advantage …

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How Unconditional Love Helps When Your Child Is Abusing Substances

The most surprising lesson I have learned from substance abuse is unconditional love.  Unconditional love is the willingness to work through all the discomfort I feel because I see my teen suffering, and I want to fix it, and I can’t fix it, but I keep showing up with love in the face of that …

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