When your teen is abusing substances, your self confidence could probably use a boost.
All the fears, guilt, and self-doubt that show up erode your self-confidence.
Also, when you want to help your teen and you don’t know where to start or what to do you don’t have confidence in your ability to handle the situation.
That is where you have to call on your confidence in you.
When you are confident in yourself, and you know you can trust yourself, then you make decisions from there and trust yourself to handle new situations and learn as you go.
Self confidence gives you the fuel you need to take action.
Each of us has the ability to create self-confidence.
Evaluate your thoughts about yourself.
Do you trust yourself to follow through?
What do you make it mean when you fail at something?
Failure just means you haven’t met your expectations yet.
It means you are human, and failure is part of the learning process.
What does it mean about you?
It means you were brave enough to try something new and you are learning.
I love telling clients that they have all the answers and they know what is best for them.
Once I help them explore their thoughts they realize I am right, but until then, they can borrow my belief until they believe in themselves.
Thinking thoughts that create confidence and believing them is a skill.
Most of our beliefs are recycled.
We don’t even realize how much self-doubt and anxiety our beliefs produce because we have always thought this way.
The familiar and efficient thinking is comfortable in its predictability.
Beliefs are just thoughts we think over and over, and our brain is always automatically looking for evidence they are true.
In order to change your beliefs about self-confidence you have to work at believing new thoughts and looking for evidence they are true.
Expect your brain to want to revert back to your old beliefs but keep working on the new thoughts and over riding the old ones.
The concept is simple and it works, but you have to be work at it.
Examples of past recycled thoughts:
- I don’t know how
- Confidence is something you either have or you don’t
- Fear means you aren’t’ confident
- Confident people are comfortable and don’t feel afraid
Examples of beliefs that create Self Confidence:
- I am capable
- Failure earns success
- So what?
- Worry only pretends to be necessary
- What I make it mean is the worst that can happen
Taking action from these thoughts and making progress will increase your self-confidence.
Do the things you are scared to do.
Honor your decisions.
Believe thoughts that create self confidence on purpose.
Learn by doing.
Seek your approval and no one else’s.