You can have a connected loving relationship with your child without enabling them.
If you want to connect with them, you need to look inside yourself first.
A large part of what’s blocking your relationship is that their addiction activates every unresolved emotional wound you have.
We all have similar wounds, that’s why most parents react to their kid’s addiction in the same way.
We are taught to look outside of ourselves for answers and it’s a total injustice.
It takes away our power.
Answers are not outside of us.
Before my daughter’s addiction I was just going through the motions of life.
I usually looked outside myself for answers.
Her addiction forced me to look inside myself in a way I never had before.
It shined a spotlight on every emotional wound, vulnerability, and insecurity I had.
My initial reaction was to change that externally.
I focused my attention on controlling and changing my daughter so I could be happy.
My belief that changing her would make me happy, made both of us miserable for years.
Did she need to make changes in her life? Absolutely.
The problem was, I was forcing solutions on her and neglecting myself.
I desperately needed her to change so I could be OK.
The root of addiction isn’t a moral failing, it’s our kids trying to regulate their inner world with something outside of themselves.
The same way we do.
The difference is we spend too much time scrolling Facebook in a daze, watching Netflix, overeat, drink some wine, or buy things we don’t need and can’t afford.
Those actions result in instant gratification followed by more emptiness and usually regret and shame as well.
The same goes for our kids and their drug abuse.
The problem is those are all EXTERNAL changes & we have to make INTERNAL changes first.
We need to heal the wounds I mentioned earlier.
They are at the root of our negative thoughts and limiting beliefs.
Our beliefs about ourselves shape our experience of life and are the lens we see our kid’s addiction through.
Once you weed through your thoughts and beliefs, understand how they created the life you have, and then work through them, you can intentionally create new thoughts and beliefs that serve you.
Doing the inner work will create changes in your outer world.
You will cultivate the kind of connection with your child you always wanted but felt powerless to create.
You can’t connect with someone else when you aren’t connected with yourself.
The coaching model I use connects your mind and body.
It teaches you how to heal those wounds that are activated so strongly because of your child’s addiction.
You can tell how deep your wound is by the way you react to your child.
If you lose your mind on them, they’ve activated a deep wound.
I’ve worked through those deep wounds.
I don’t lose my mind on my daughter anymore.
I respond instead of reacting.
I have the kind of connections in my life that I always wanted but didn’t know how to create.
You have to be able to see your wounds to heal them.
I’m a ninja when it comes to seeing what my client’s wounds are and how they are playing out in all areas of their life.
If you’re ready to start living in connection instead of your emotional wounds I can help you.
There are two ways to work with me:
1.Sign up for a $17 – 45 minute sample coaching phone call to find out what it’s like to work 1:1 with me. You will leave the call with practical actionable steps you can start using TODAY.
2. If you aren’t ready to get on a phone call with me but you still want to learn all the life changing tools and strategies to take your life back from addiction and support your child then The Peace Of Mind Program is for you. It’s a self-paced online program you can do in the privacy of your own home.