BONUS Episode: Happy Enough Holidays

Living With Your Child's Addiction Podcast
Living With Your Child's Addiction Podcast
BONUS Episode: Happy Enough Holidays
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Do you have a child or loved one struggling with addiction or mental health issues? Are you dreading the holidays? 

Happy Enough Holidays is an interactive workshop hosted by Heather Ross and Beth Syverson on Tuesday, November 14th, 4:30 -6:00 pm PST / 7:30 – 9:00 pm EST $20 for a 90-minute
interactive workshop. 

Here’s What You Get:   

  • A Supportive Immersive Experience: Curate your holiday
    experience with other parents who face similar challenges and understand you during this live workshop. Custom exercises tailored to your needs and situation to help you create a clear vision for supporting yourself and your child through the holidays. 
  • Reimagine Your Holidays: Rewrite the rules and set your own standards for the holidays. Uncover newfound clarity, embrace realistic expectations, and let your holiday season be a uniquely crafted experience that’s entirely your own. 
  • Unlock Your Inner Strength and Resilience: Resilience isn’t a fixed trait It’s a muscle that can be strengthened. Together we will unlock the power within you to face holiday uncertainty head-on.  
  • Two Inspiring Coaches: Heather Ross and Beth Syverson are your seasoned guides through this journey. They bring years of expertise and a wealth of knowledge in helping families navigate addiction.  

Register at https://heatherrosscoaching.com/happy-enough-holidays-2/

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Invitation to Change Learning/Support Group Use the link below to find out about the
Invitation to Change support group Heather is hosting.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Learn More & Sign Up For The Invitation To Change Group⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM – Join the waitlist – New Group Starting in January! Be the first to get details. https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

Guide about enabling – If you’ve ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

Follow Heather on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/heatherrosscoaching

Follow Heather Instagram https://www.instagram.com/heatherrosscoaching/

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the free Facebook group for parents who are struggling with a child’s addiction⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/heather-ross9/message

Transcript

This transcript has not been formatted or edited.

0:00

Hi everybody.

This is Heather Ross from the Living With Your Child’s Addiction podcast.

And I’m saying that because I’m here with Beth Syverson from Unraveling Adoption and you’re going to hear this on both of our podcasts.

So I want to make sure that I introduce both of us and Beth and I got together and decided to do a holiday workshop because it is just such a hard time of the year for so many people already.

0:29

And then when you add in all these extra elements of, you know, having a child that’s struggling or family member that’s dealing with adoption, it’s really just a lot of extra stress and pain.

0:46

And so we wanted to do a workshop together that would help support people through the holidays.

Last year I opened up a chat in my Facebook group and there was a lot more activity on their parents supporting each other about what they were experiencing and I just noticed how much pain everybody was in.

1:08

So we want to try and make the holiday.

We know that it can’t be.

We don’t want to put pressure on it.

We’re not trying to make it a perfect holiday or anything like that.

We’re just trying to show you some ways that you can create your own holiday experience, the best one that’s available for you.

1:26

The name of it is Happy Enough Holidays, which I love that name because there’s no pressure that comes with it.

So we just thought we’d share a couple of our holiday experiences with you and how we’ve handled it in the past.

1:43

So I’m going to let Beth go ahead and go first since I’ve been talking for a few minutes.

Hey everyone, and we’re very excited about this event.

It’s going to help a lot of people, I think, because.

You know, you look at TV and everyone looks happy and joyful, but I think in real life, real houses with kids that are struggling and adoptees that are triggered and all sorts of things are going on and we just want to be there to help everybody that is trying to manage through their holidays.

2:11

I wanted to share a story about my son Joey.

He’s 20 and when he was 15 he had a major crisis.

We found out he was addicted to substances and he spent.

That first Christmas in rehab, he went in just a few days before Christmas and I couldn’t see him at all on Christmas because he was still in his.

2:33

I think they had five days of blackout.

You couldn’t talk to him or see him at all.

So on the 28th was the day that one person could go see him.

So I was elected and I was really sad.

I was just, so I’m like, Oh my gosh, this is our Christmas.

2:48

And I couldn’t buy him a present, really, because he’d sell it or.

You know, I couldn’t give him a gift card or money or anything like that because he’d sell it for drugs and like what?

What can I get him?

What can I get him?

I ended up making him one of those photo books from Walgreens and it it was called Joey’s Book of Hope.

3:06

And I put in pictures of him doing sports and music, pictures with all of his relatives and pictures when he was a baby and all different times to remind him that he had.

A really happy life before.

Of course there was some sadness there, but I wanted him to remember that It hasn’t always been this hard and I gave it to him.

3:27

I don’t know if he liked it at the moment that I gave it to him.

He was kind of oblivious.

But anyway, we made it through that holiday and it it went okay in the end and.

I felt like I did all that I could do.

But yesterday I told him that we were doing this workshop and I was going to be talking to folks and I said, do you remember that?

3:44

And I gave you that photo book and I was the only one that was able to come to your rehab.

And he goes, yeah, I remember that.

I love that book, Mom.

I still look at it almost every day.

I have it on top of my dresser, which I did not know.

That was really, really touching that he really liked that book.

And also he said, mom, I didn’t care about Christmas.

4:02

I was just trying to figure out how to get out of there.

So I thought, oh, poor Joey’s got going to have a good Christmas and he’s going to wish he could do whatever.

But turns out he could have cared less about Christmas.

It was just another day to him and to me.

It was a really sad Christmas.

4:18

But we got through and it was meaningful that I made that book for him and that I guess that kind of helped me get through.

And then the subsequent holidays have all kind of just been very low key.

We after that one we revised what Christmas meant for our family so.

4:34

Heather, do you have a similar story or or something to contrast with that?

Yeah, I like your idea of revising what Christmas means for your family because there’s just so many holiday expectations.

So one year, this was probably maybe five years ago, and it was when I was still married and I lived in Oklahoma.

4:55

Elena was 18 or 19 and it was Christmas.

I had cooked a huge meal because we were expecting.

I had two stepdaughters also.

So we were expecting all the kids and I was excited about having everybody there.

5:11

Well, I cooked this huge meal and nobody shows up, just me and my husband.

And at first I was really frustrated and disappointed.

I had been texting Helena and she wasn’t responding to me.

5:27

And so after a little while of allowing my disappointment, of course I just got the idea of I’m going to pack up all of this food or a lot of it, and I’m going to take it to the house she lives at.

And so I did that and as I was packing the stuff up to take to them, because she had a couple of roommates at the time, I started feeling better more and more even just like excited even about bringing them the food.

5:58

So I show up at the house with this big box of food and they were just all so grateful and I got to show up there and not be mad at Helena.

I didn’t even say anything to her about not coming over.

I just hugged her and told her I loved her and sat with and visited with them for a few minutes while they ate.

6:19

And her roommates were so grateful because they don’t have their families in their life like I was with Helana.

So they didn’t have any options for Christmas and it just it felt so good just to be able to give them that to all three of them and really give Helana the gift of not being mad at her and just enjoying what was available to me that day.

6:46

And I think that that’s what’s so important and why we wanted to do this workshop is because figuring out how to enjoy what’s available to us, knowing that we have the right to create our own experience and it really can impact how we feel.

7:04

And we have the ability to at least make things less painful for ourselves.

Like, I don’t want to put the expectation out there that that we’re going to create a joyful Christmas for everybody, because sometimes it’s not possible.

There’s a lot of grief during the holidays as well.

7:21

And I think it adds up over the years even more for some people.

So it’s really about empowering yourself to take care of yourself and envision something different than a, you know, Hallmark movie Christmas.

7:39

Yeah, we don’t have to buy into the cultural norms, and I think it’s just a fiction anyway.

I think everybody, every family’s got something going on.

It’s never as happy as, you know, even Facebook or Pinterest.

You know, people put out the best parts of whatever, but I think everybody’s got something going on that’s just causing them pain or or triggering or.

8:03

So we’re going to try and help everybody find a peaceful place and an acceptable place.

Happy enough.

Yeah, I love that.

Well, if you are interested in attending our workshop, it’s going to be on Tuesday, November 14th.

8:20

So in front of the Thanksgiving holiday, in front of a whole bunch of other winter holidays that people celebrate, it’s going to be at 7:30 Eastern, 4:30 Pacific.

A 90 minute workshop with Heather and me and it’ll be interactive, so it’s not the kind where you can just be multitasking.

8:38

We’re going to be asking you to do stuff and and really work on your own plans.

So make sure and be kind of available during those times and you can find out more.

And get your ticket at heatherrosscoaching.com.

Oh, and I just want to add that we’ve never done this before, but we’re actually going to record this one.

8:58

So if you can’t be there live, you can still sign up.

You’ll get the recording when we’re done.

Yep, Yep, that’ll be great.

Then you have to do your worksheets on your own, but that’s OK You can still get a lot out of it.

So we hope this will really help a lot of people that might be struggling this time of year.

9:14

So we hope this hits right at the right spot for you.

Hope to see you in the workshop.

OK.

Thanks.

See you soon.