EP65 How Breathwork Eases Stress and Helps You Stay in The Present Moment

Living With Your Child's Addiction Podcast
Living With Your Child's Addiction Podcast
EP65 How Breathwork Eases Stress and Helps You Stay in The Present Moment
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Heather interviewed Certified Master Breathwork Facilitator Victoria Starr. Your breath is your body’s only system that is voluntary and under your control. Intentional breathing can reduce anxiety, help with sleep and digestion, increase energy, boost the immune system, and lower blood pressure. You experience the most peace in the present moment, even during stressful situations. Projecting into the future, getting stuck in negative thought loops, and disconnecting from your body changes your breathing and keeps you stuck in fight or flight. Changing your breathing pattern has an immediate impact on your mind and body.

A few things you’ll learn from the episode:

  • What RESET breathwork is and how it is different from other breathwork
  • The difference between the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system and why understanding them matters
  • How we store unprocessed emotions in our body and the problems it causes

Episodes to listen to next:

EP 29 How To Quiet Your Mind Without Meditating in Silence

EP 38 How To Have Self Compassion

How to contact Victoria:

Sign up for virtual breath work: Virtual Breathwork page

1:1 Breathwork 

Website:   victorialeestarr.com

IG:  @victorialeestarr

FB:  Victoria Starr

 

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

NEW GUIDE ABOUT ENABLING – If you’ve ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

If you want coaching about your child’s addiction or anything else Sign up for a 45 minute $17 call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM – Join the waitlist – New Group Starting soon! Be the first to get details. https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

There’s a new parent support group in Town. Use the link below to find out about the Invitation to Change support group Heather is hosting.

Learn More & Sign Up For The Invitation To Change Group

Follow me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/heatherrosscoaching

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/heatherrosscoaching/

Join the free Facebook group for parents who are struggling with a child’s addiction

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/heather-ross9/message

Transcript

This transcript has not been formatted or edited.

0:01

I’m Heather after many wasted years, trying outdated, approaches to my daughter’s addiction, that felt wrong to me harmed.

Our relationship and didn’t help my daughter.

I finally found an effective evidence-based approach.

0:16

That repair my relationship with her helped me.

Create my own peace of mind and made me an ally in my daughter’s recovery.

I teach you a loving and compassionate approach to help you encourage change.

And create connection addiction impacts the entire family system.

0:35

Family recovery is the answer.

Hi everybody.

So it’s been a little while since I recorded an episode.

I’m excited to share this one with you today.

Though.

I met today’s guest Victoria star through my friend Kim last month and it was like just the right time because I really needed the breathwork class that she was offering and I’m sure you’ve noticed if you’re a regular listener that I have not done many podcasts in Last two months, the end of September and October, we’re just very tough months for me.

1:17

My grief about my daughter, Helena got pretty intense and it was having a physical effect on how I felt.

I was in a lot of pain and I was getting migraines every day.

Feeling pain in my body, I had some dislike catch between my shoulder blades that would not I could not get rid of, I felt exhausted.

1:40

Ah, stood in depleted.

And I really, I just feel like a battery that couldn’t get charged anymore and when that happens, my creativity, goes out the window to.

So I just don’t even try to force it.

And I was able to record that one episode in October, because I had come up with the idea in the outline for it.

2:04

Well, I was on vacation, so I had to get a little creative energy while I was in a different space, but When I got home, I kind of lost that Creative Energy and the day that I recorded that podcast.

I sat outside for a couple of hours.

First just staring at the birds and I got motivated and excited and I felt the energy to record the podcast and I was in a really good mood and that’s the kind of energy I want to bring to the cup podcast and so I was happy that that happened that day.

2:36

But then the next day it was just I just that feeling came.

Back and I was really struggling.

So I made this decision that I wasn’t going to do anything extra.

I was just going to focus on my clients and support myself through that period and just allow myself to experience that low energy and heavy emotions.

3:01

But the week that I met Victoria, it had really the pain.

The physical pain was really getting to me.

I’d gone to a and bath, which if you listen to this podcast, you know I love sound baths.

I had received energy, healing, I’d gone to the chiropractor, but I was still in a lot of pain.

3:22

Especially I just could not get that whatever it was between my shoulder blades would not release.

And I signed up for one of Victoria’s online breathwork classes with my friend, it, when we were done, I’m not even exaggerating a little all of that pain was gone.

3:43

My muscles had relaxed.

I had released a ton of emotions and I had realized some painful things that I wasn’t acknowledging which was another part of helping me move forward and I could just take full deep breaths again.

4:02

I mean I was exhausted when it was over and I was ready to go to bed after that.

But As soon as I was done, I knew that I had to share this with you guys, especially with the holidays coming up.

I mean, it’s a great way to de-stress from everyday life but with the holidays coming, I know that brings on more stress.

4:23

So I think this is great timing to share her with you.

And another part of that is being able to create peace of mind, and breathwork brings you into the present moment.

And that’s where the most Peace is available to us.

4:41

My hardest moments.

Now is I’m dealing with my grief about the loss of her Lana.

And before when she was alive, and I was trying to support her through her substance use and through her recovery.

4:56

The hardest moments were my judgments about the past or wanting the past to be different and my fears and projections about the future, like both of those things.

Cause Cause a lot of pain.

So I really appreciate tools, like, breathwork that keep me in the Peace of the present moment.

5:16

So, let me tell you a little bit about Victoria before I start the episode because I’m pretty impressed with her background.

She’s got done some amazing endurance events, but she’s also she’s a certified Master breathwork facilitator, her Mission and passion lies in the Ability to guide others through the power of their breath to focus on their internal frequency, razor vibration and create a community Through connection to elevate the energy of the world, after growing a thriving, career, and fitness, and Athletics, and competing in everything.

5:59

From CrossFit, 26 Ironman races, the Boston Marathon, and even ultramarathons.

And Victoria felt something was missing deep down.

Then one day she found breath work through breathwork Victoria was able to release deep childhood trauma.

6:18

Let go of emotional Trauma from abusive relationships in calm, chronic overwhelming anxiety.

These profound shifts, and healing completely changed her life and let her to pursue breath work as a new career Victoria.

6:34

Now create supportive communal experiences for humans to read Discover themselves, her guided three-part, breath work experiences, are specifically designed to quiet the noise.

So you can listen for the life burning in your soul.

Life of Limitless imagination, everything you need to keep going is living inside of you.

6:56

Sometimes you need help shifting or sifting through the noise when we are most in tune with our souls.

That overflow becomes its own gift, its own service to the the world raising that any energy and vibration all around us to create a positive ripple effect.

7:15

I hope you enjoy this episode and give breathwork a try.

Like I did.

Hi Victoria.

Thank you so much for taking the time to record this podcast episode with me today, and share this information with the audience.

Absolutely Heather.

7:31

Thank you for allowing me to be here and sharing my passion.

So let’s start with what breath work.

Is and how the reset breath work that you do is different from other breathwork.

Yes.

Oh, I love this question because there are so many different modalities to breath work but knowing that breathwork is a variety of breathing techniques that can be used to improve a person’s mental health, their physical health, or emotional health, their spiritual health.

8:02

It can bring about senses of physical relaxation.

Bring about Clarity of the Mind, peace of mind, it helps to release stress overwhelm anxiety.

And it really allows us to tap into our internal Soul, our internal being and tap into our own Universe with them.

8:25

So knowing that the roots of breathwork they’ve been around for thousands of years, so there’s so many different modalities to breath work, but know that the breath work has its basis in the yoga.

Traditions in the Indian culture.

8:41

So that it really has a Long Foundation in longevity of just this beautiful realism of what our bodies can do.

And so like I really liked it tap into it’s a universal energy and it connects us all together.

8:59

So that’s what breath work is for me.

And that’s how I see breathwork.

Now, the modality that I facilitate is called the Set breathwork method.

The what it is, is guided through a meditative State set with an intention for, either the group container, or individual person, I guide you along a musical Journey.

9:23

Each playlist is separate and it’s held in a safe environment and a safe container.

And I use affirmations to give you the Breather.

The container to tap into the nervous system and to reset that in there.

9:38

System.

So it’s a conscious connected breathing pattern, helping to reset the nervous system and to bring an elevated state of being and to the body which is exactly why I wanted to have you on the podcast today.

Because just when parents have a child struggling with substances, there’s so much fear that they have to work through and sometimes a lot of chaos and you know the things that You mentioned are so important like how it connects us all together.

10:12

I love that.

Because an important part of what I offer on this podcast is ways to stay in connection with your child, no matter whether they’re in recovery or actively using substances.

And you mentioned, relieving stress anxiety, giving you Clarity and peace of mind.

10:31

Like, that’s exactly what every parent that’s going through this needs.

And it’s such an easy way.

To for them to give that to themselves.

So how does breathwork get you out of fight or flight?

10:46

Because a lot of parents I work with, that’s one of their biggest struggles is just being in that constant fear of what bad thing is going to happen next to their child.

And then maybe explain the difference between the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous system is part of that.

11:04

Wow, I love that you’re bringing this awareness and to your community.

Unity to a like it’s such a beautiful gift and it’s a gift that we have within ourselves that we can do that.

We don’t have to like, buy things or attached to things, like we have it within ourselves to be able to do this.

11:20

So, coming back to our actions, our thoughts, our behaviors, our emotions.

They’re all part of our subconscious, and most of what we have learned and what we have been programmed happened, by the time.

We were 7 years old, but also knowing that Within our subconscious there also lies generational stuff generational trauma.

11:44

So we’re holding a lot within our body and as adults, and as parents, like we, sometimes have to be on that quick trigger on that quick response, but that’s predominantly living on past experiences and emotions that we have been programmed to.

12:05

So if we’ve had trauma, that’s And as a kid and it creates this fear or this anxiety or the sensation in the body, that doesn’t feel so good.

Most generally 95 percent of the time, we’re living on that on, that just subconscious level where it’s just an automatic pattern.

12:25

So you asked, how does breathwork help to get out of the sympathetic and the parasympathetic?

What I want to refer back to is the sympathetic nervous system which is our fight or flight.

So we’re triggered or we’re running from a bear or there’s some sort of internal response within our body, our ego Minds.

12:47

Like holy crap.

We need to get out of here so that is our sympathetic nervous system.

Hey, our parasympathetic nervous system is our rest and digest.

It’s our opportunity to create the common to slow down and to just be and I say just be so that we can be in this present moment and we can be in that state of calm and that state of just peacefulness.

13:14

So with the breathwork that I facilitate the reset rough work, it has the opportunity to release those learned responses that happen when we are seven years old of our subconscious.

And it helps to activate our nervous system so that we can rewire those Pathways, that were learned that were probably not so good for us.

13:37

But in this Practice, we can rewire those Pathways.

So that we don’t have that state of fear overwhelm stress trauma.

All this stuff of Life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think it pairs really well with, like, when I first started working like learning about my thoughts, feelings, and actions.

13:55

And how I, you know, most of us really do live in our subconscious rather than being intentional.

And I was learning to meditate at the same time.

And so, I think that that That really helped me be able to move through it faster being able to work through it, on both levels.

14:18

So hitting it, from the being really intentional with my thoughts, feelings and actions, and then also working on it from the perspective of doing energy, healing and meditating, and now learning breast Work.

14:38

It really?

I felt like it.

Helped me move things out of my body.

Like, I’d spent so many years numbing myself and I hated emotions.

Like, I was an accountant, I love numbers because they’re safe and predictable, and they don’t have feelings and I didn’t want to have any feelings either, so they were just all stored in my body and eventually made me feel horrible.

15:02

You know, I felt sick all of the time and like, when things were really bad with my daughter, sometimes I I would wake up the next morning, just kind of feeling like I’ve been in a car accident or something because all those feelings were just stuck in my body.

So let’s talk about that for a minute, like one, what stored emotions in the body, feel like and then how these something like breathwork helps.

15:27

You move those stored, emotions through your body.

So stirred emotions in the body.

What is it?

Feel like it’s different for everyone.

But as a society, we breathe from our chest, if you walk around, if you just take a gander at people as they breed their most generally breathing from their mouths and know that breathing from your mouth, is that overwhelm that anxiety and its really tightening our chest.

15:55

So like you’ve probably felt it in yourself before like when you’re stressed you’re breathing from right here.

You’re not breathing from the diaphragm.

So in actuality you can think of it like a little balloon.

So when you in Inflate a balloon.

There’s no air going into your lungs.

16:11

Because you’re breathing from here, but if you focus on breathing from your diaphragm, you can fully inflate that balloon.

So that’s one trigger in your mind.

I don’t want to use the word trigger but connection that you are breathing and where you’re breathing from.

16:28

So that’s an opportunity to see where in your body, you’re feeling that.

But most generally, I feel it comes from emotions.

Although when I do breathe in this, Pattern I can bill the emotion in my body but it’s not prior to unless like, you know, how we walk around in, our shoulders are Shrugged and like we feel that tension in our shoulders.

16:50

That’s what trauma can feel like.

That’s what the overwhelm and the anxiety can feel like in the body.

So witnessing really tapping into the present moment of where are you is your mind constantly on the swirl of the monkey mind of thinking of all the things I need to do and Living in the past and the road rage and all the shit that happens.

17:11

Or are you able to tap into like, being right here, looking out at the beauty of nature, tapping into the beautiful smile of your child or really focusing on, like what emotion is present in this room.

17:26

So that’s how I recognized the feeling of trauma and my body and knowing that, also, our society likes to take every emotion and shove it under the rug and like not deal.

That and either we’ll deal with it later or we never get back to it.

17:42

So it just kind of stock piles on our body.

And that’s when that’s when we have the explosion or the whatever happens within us, and we get mad at somebody, that really, really didn’t deserve it.

So when I did my first breath work.

17:59

So the breath work that I did with you was the first time I ever like, officially did a breathwork class and what I was experiencing before, Before that was I was having a lot of pain in my neck and shoulders and back and my body was aching.

18:16

Like I was really struggling to process the amount of grief that I was experiencing.

I’ve been able to process it most of the time but like during the month of October it just was coming so fast and heavy, I couldn’t and so it was causing like aches and pains in my body and it was like I couldn’t get a deep breath.

18:38

And I could feel it all just building up in my body.

Like, you know, if you think about, like a river flowing freely or having a damn, like I could feel that damn and everything was just building up.

And then after the breathwork, like, I could just feel that I had released so much and I could breathe again.

18:58

And even a lot of the I’d gone to the chiropractor several times.

I was stretching, massage is doing all this stuff to get rid of the side this like catch me.

Between my shoulder blades that I just could not get rid of and it was gone after we did that breathwork like I released so much stuff and so that’s what made me want to share this was because it’s so easy to get so much emotion.

19:25

Just stuck in our body because like you said we shove it under the rug and we don’t want to feel it or we don’t know how to and to me that’s almost like a fast-track way to figure out how to process emotion.

Absolutely.

Yeah, I definitely can feel that I loved witnessing your transformation that happened when you did breathe.

19:47

Not knowing your story just being in the container with you on holding space for you.

That was safe.

And thank you for allowing me and honoring me to guide you through that too, because that is heavy and through the breath like we have and there’s this quote keeps coming to Mine and I want to share it with you because it’s so like, for me, it just resonates so much and it’s by dr.

20:14

Joe dispenza, I don’t know if you’ve heard about them, but he’s pretty, pretty freaking rad, dr.

Joe dispenza in case anybody doesn’t know, he’s a Bachelor of Science, he’s a doctor chiropractic.

His postgraduate is in the field of Neuroscience, neuroplasticity, epigenetics mind-body medicine, and the Brain heart coherence.

20:35

So his quote that just deeply Nate’s, with me as thoughts are language of the brain, feelings are language of the body.

So, again, thoughts are language of the brain.

So, what we think gets pattern in the brain and our subconscious and then feelings our language of the body.

20:51

So when we have an emotion from a thought, it gets stored in our body.

So for you it was stored and your, you said your left shoulder your scapula.

And yeah, yeah, in between your shoulder blades and so that’s where your body likes to hold tension.

21:06

So, Like being able to breathe so knowing to like prior to the breath work experience, how are you breathing, where you and your chest then knowing that in this breathing method, you’re expanding your lungs.

So, truly you’re stretching your intercostals, you’re lengthening your spine, you’re creating more space physically in the body but yet, you’re also tapping into where that emotion lies within the body and your it’s kind of, like, a Floodgate.

21:36

Like you said, like you get to fly Let it right through you, get to move through it and through the positive affirmations that are included in there, you get to rewire the brain so it’s all that mind-body connection.

That is beautiful in this breathwork modality.

21:52

Yeah, I love dr.

Joe dispenza that’s actually that was like he was my first introduction to meditating.

So when I found coaching and started working on my thoughts, feelings and actions, I was doing his breaking the habit of being yourself.

22:08

And that was what introduced me into meditating, and I was so amazed with his backstory to that.

I mean, I didn’t even really understand the book the first time I read it, I think if I read it now and have a totally different understanding, but I just knew that I needed to try it.

22:26

So I did everything in the book and I listened to his meditation that comes with it and I, you know, did that whole process all the way through and it was pretty life-changing.

I am I’m celebrating you big Heather because that is commitment for me that shows that like you are dedicated to healing and moving through this and you’re going to do whatever it takes to do that.

22:48

So and it’s for you.

Yeah, I mean this gift is for you so that you can be a better human for those around you to create that ripple effect of energy that is supported for other people.

So I’m celebrating a big for doing that.

Yeah thank you and it is more.

23:03

It’s important for me to to do that work when Trying to work with people and support them through really heavy stuff as well.

Then you have to work on yourself even more to be able to support people through that.

So you also mentioned that breathwork helps us rewire our brain from trauma and stuck emotions that don’t serve us.

23:27

Do you want to talk?

Can you talk a little bit more about that?

Yeah, I would love to so so like I said, our brain, our subconscious were is pretty much It’s created by the time our seven years old, anything that’s happened and then so as an adult we start running on these Auto pilots and then we live in the past.

23:49

So we live our ego, mind comes in it.

Likes the patterns that likes the structures, that likes to keep us safe.

At likes to be in control.

There’s nothing wrong with the ego mind, but that’s just what it does.

So when we go through life on this autopilot a, we’re not The glory and the beauty that’s out there, we’re not living in the present moment.

24:13

We’re living in the past.

We’re living in those past emotions and behaviors.

So, like for me, I want to share how they’re like I came from an emotional trauma background as a child and it manifested through relationships.

24:29

And I was so stuck in this conditioned way of being and it was through a doctor Jo meditation and breathwork Work.

Where I literally saw my soul Behind Bars, shaking the bars going.

Get me the fuck out of here.

24:45

Like, I’m so stuck like life can’t be like this.

There’s got to be so much more.

So being consistent with breath work and having people hold space for me, that I felt that I was safe and rewiring the neurons, the neural Pathways in my brain through positive affirmations and this breath practice.

25:07

Like, I was able to freaking Break Free of the bars, to allow my soul to shine, and be able to be who my soul came here on this Earth, to be like it is been such a spiritual awakening and such a it’s given me full body Goosebumps right now.

25:25

But it’s truly what has changed and shifted the way I see life.

I mean, it’s amazing now.

So the scientific part of this is that through this breath practice.

Practice.

We come into the sympathetic nervous system so I guide you into a breathing pattern that guide you into that.

25:47

Sympathetic that rests or that fighter flight to where I take you in a safe controlled time that safe controlled space to this Peak Performance and then I bring you back down in the breathing pattern into the parasympathetic nervous system to wear that you are guided through these affirmations.

26:08

I’m safe my body, I am safe to be loved.

I let go of all the past, I let go.

So the affirmations are really centered around what that person needs.

I am enough.

I am worthy.

I am growing into my soul’s desires.

26:24

So through the breath Journey, we come back down.

The parasympathetic nervous system into that, rewiring of that pathway over and over.

It’s kind of like a super highway so that we can reset and repattern our brain and the feelgood’s about this breathing practice to Heather, is that it releases such a chemical positive relief, and release, and our body, that our body wants to do it again, so that we can feel that again.

26:55

So, it releases, dopamine it releases melatonin, it releases, what’s called DMT, so that we can experience oxytocin.

So with, there’s so much scientific to this.

That it’s really, it’s not woo.

27:10

It’s a really like a practice of resetting, what’s inside of you?

Yeah.

And it’s so important to reprogram that autopilot intentionally.

And I think that when you pair thought work with something like breathwork, it makes it that much easier to reprogram and I think about it like some thoughts that we Think are like sir, super highways, in our brain and they take a lot more work to reprogram, but if we put in the work and we’re really intentional, then our new autopilot has been programmed by us.

27:52

So it’s like an upgrade that we can keep doing that.

And that was what I am, glad that I discovered, like, doing things like that together, could help me grow even faster.

Absolutely.

28:09

So, how is breathwork different than meditating?

Or is it similar?

It’s definitely different than meditating.

Although, there are some similarities.

The meditating I found for me was hard for me when I was in that angst, state that overwhelm that anxiety to sit still and to ground, even for five minutes like, and then I felt like a failure when I wasn’t doing it.

28:36

And So that’s just my experience with meditating.

The difference that I felt with breathwork was the fact that somebody was holding space for me.

So my masculine energy likes that accountability, but also through breathwork were rewiring those Pathways within the brain scientifically within the body itself.

28:59

Whereas, for my understanding meditating is the thoughts so again it comes back to the thoughts and The feeling’s Joe dispenza has quote so it’s where rewiring the thoughts in the brain and releasing those stored emotions in the body to create new.

29:21

Yeah.

So yeah.

And what you mentioned about how hard it is to meditate sometimes like I am before my daughter died, I meditated quite a bit.

So I was experienced at it but I just couldn’t do it anymore.

29:38

And the week before I had done the breath work with you, you know, everybody knows I love sound bad to talk about it all the time.

I’ve been to a sound bath, I’d gotten an energy healing, I’ve been to the chiropractor, I done all the things and I was still struggling, like, there was something about the breath work, that helped me to move out that really intense emotion, that was trapped between my shoulder blades and I felt so relieved.

30:09

I was exhausted when we were done but the relief was just in like you mentioned the I was feeling all of those feelings like it elevated my mood.

I’ve been really in kind of a low place kind of it, just lifted me up enough that I could also help myself as well.

30:26

Mmm, I love that and I’m going to bring Clarity to that.

I didn’t think this is such a fun scientific fact that our lungs are the only voluntary and involuntary organ in our body.

So our lungs allow us to get that that tap into our nervous system through, I mean scientific.

30:47

Kiki gets us into the vagus nerve and the powerful use of the diaphragm through the breath that activates our parasympathetic nervous system which is the calm through the vagus nerve into the deep parts of the subconscious mind.

31:03

So that’s all the like the scientific a geeky stuff but also like you said like Like that’s the shit that we carry that we don’t know that breathwork helps us to maybe we didn’t even know that we were holding onto this experience from the past but in then reality like it’s stored in the body.

31:21

So through Bradford we get to move it out.

We get to move through it and create more space within our body to become more present.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And your body remembers even if your brain doesn’t exactly, you can be experiencing there was Something that happened in October.

31:39

I’m still not sure what it was.

But just kind of set off this chain of events in my body and I don’t even have to know what it was.

I was just experiencing it and I knew it like happened in a split second.

The it was something about to do with football.

31:54

In the Colder Weather, we had just had a hurricane come through and it just like my brain just switched into this.

Oh, my gosh.

At this time last year, Holly and I had only like six weeks left to live and it just started Something that was like, I couldn’t control with my thoughts.

32:11

Yeah.

And so that’s why I love sharing this kind of stuff because I think it’s so important.

And when parents are dealing with a child substance use, it’s like something that we have to learn to live with.

It’s not going anywhere.

32:26

It’s a marathon not a Sprint and I was thinking, like, with your background, with endurance events that how your mindset is.

A really big part of that in addition to your physical health and then also like controlling your breathing through those events.

32:48

And it reminded me of like really what parents are going through, how important it is to have that same approach to this life of living with a child substance use that same, you know, how you had to approach an endurance.

33:07

Event.

So can you share a little bit about pacing yourself and the mental part of getting through those?

You did like Iron Man’s and which there was an ultramarathon is that was it?

The other one?

Yeah, yeah, yes.

33:24

So I’ve done six Iron Man.

Six regular open marathons and an ultra marathon which was 122 miles.

Huh.

So coming back to the breath.

And coming back to the mindset for me.

33:40

What really?

It was Full Circle moment to it’s a mindset.

It’s the breath.

And it’s also a visualization.

So it’s coming back to the senses of the body and becoming super grounded again.

I’m giving myself full-body chills.

So like the visualization of doing the event like what happens if this goes wrong or what happens?

34:01

If those goes, right?

So the visualization was beautiful, the getting grounded into the space where The event was allowed me to TAP, even deeper into the events and then the mindset of I am a generator.

So, I love structure.

34:18

I love checklist and all those things.

So the mindset was fulfilled by the generator of like, okay, I have all these things done and completed and it’s that positive mindset of like, okay, this could go wrong.

But what’s plan, b, or what’s plan C, so that fulfilled that aspect in the In the breathing part of it Heather was like, some of my I’ve had really great events and I’ve had really shitty events.

34:43

And I noticed the difference where I was fully tapped into the present of my breath and of the moment I want to share a story that just came to me, is that one of my fastest Ironman bike events?

I was literally biking on the course with many people around and I was floating above myself witnessing.

35:07

My Self biking along the lake where the course was.

So I knew I was fully present and like, I was so calm and at peace in that moment that my breath was just like it was in a state of flow.

Now, I do want to Pure transparency here, and these events endurance events this was before I tapped into breathwork, so knowing what I know.

35:32

Now, my goal is to do another ultramarathon and to change my breathing pattern, In a different form so that I can stay more regulated throughout the longevity of the event.

Because I know that because these events are so long that like we have the highs and lows and being okay with that too.

35:51

So it’s full, it’s the body integration, it’s the Mind integration.

It’s the breath integration for the entirety of it.

I love that being okay with the highs and lows because that’s really just what our life experiences anyway.

And You’ve mentioned several times, how being with your breath can bring you into the present moment and it’s so hard.

36:16

When you have a child struggling with substance use to be in the present moment and not be in the past where you’re thinking about where things went wrong or in the future, when you’re predicting all the things that might go wrong.

36:31

So I appreciate that.

You’ve said several times how breath work brings you into the present moment because that’s the only place where there’s any piece.

Exactly.

Like we have no control of what happened in the past, the past is the past.

36:47

And again that’s that rumination of the subconscious and then the control of the future.

We don’t have any control of that either.

So it’s it’s finding that balance of like, being somewhere in the middle and like I don’t have it all together all the time, but I’m able to witness sooner within my body sooner with, in my thoughts and My emotions and my body that, ok, you are either in the past.

37:13

This old Cycles coming up or you’re trying to predict the future.

What?

You know, you don’t have any control over.

So it’s through the breath and through breath work, and just being able to recognize sooner with in life, where you’re out of the alignment.

37:29

So, and holding space for you to Heather for what you and other parents have had to go through.

I have no concept of that pain.

That that Feels and knowing that it’s an immense amount of stuff and Trauma that’s within your body.

37:45

So holding space for all of you to heal through.

That is like I I’m sending you and I’m a conduit to everything.

I have to help you move through.

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

And I know that everybody who’s listening could use that extra support to.

38:03

So, is there anything that I didn’t ask you about that?

I think is important to share.

No but I do have a story that I would love to share about a global.

All right, so I have facilitated Nationwide from South Florida to Van festivals in the southwest and to North Idaho and I also do it virtually.

38:31

And each experience is different.

Each session is different.

I come with each.

Journey with a different intention.

So when I was in South Florida at a yoga studio, I made some connections with some beautiful people and holding space for them in person at a yoga studio and through time, I got to know, know this Divine beautiful soul that she was there and she experienced.

38:59

I’m going to say three sessions with me prior to sharing this journey with me that she had been on.

But She her testimonial is so profound prior to coming into breathwork.

She could not hear out of her left ear or sorry her, right ear.

39:14

She could not hear.

So, it was from seizures, from trauma.

And she had to read lips or have a hearing device, she had shingles, and it was just like her body, it’s the immune system, like, shutting down because of all the shit that she had stored within her body.

39:32

And everything within her.

Gosh, this reflection is just coming through to me is that she could still hear out of her right ear but couldn’t hear out of her left ear.

Everything on our left side, her feminine side was shut down.

So coming to my breath work practices, like for three times before she shared this with me.

39:49

I did know that she couldn’t hear we talked about her seizures prior to.

So I just had her alter her breathing a little bit, but she shared with me afterward that her shingles were gone.

She could hear out of her.

Left ear did not have to read lips anymore and did not have to have a hearing device.

40:05

She is able to move through the emotional pain, so much easier.

Not that life isn’t hard, and we have stuff that comes up.

But she’s just able to recognize when she’s holding her breath, to be more mindful of checking in with her breath.

40:21

But also what she shared with me to Heather is that from the seizure she had sold her car, she hadn’t been driving for years.

And after those sessions, she was able to Buy a car and to drive herself around so that she could experience nature on her own so that she could have dates with herself.

40:38

So she could feel her own cup.

And she related to me, that breath was the key for her to keep moving breathwork.

Was the key for her to keep moving tapping into what her body was feeling kept her moving forward.

So the transformation that happened with her just gives me full-body chills and I just love her dearly because she has changed and Transformed so much that there is power and there is growth in the breast.

41:08

It’s just, are you willing to get out of your own way to expand and to transform and to heal?

Yeah, that is a beautiful story.

It just goes to show what stored emotions and our body can do you mean.

41:24

There’s there’s so many unexplained illnesses that people experience and the last thing that I felt like doing And the night that I did the breast work a class with you was doing that class.

But I knew that, if I didn’t do it, if I didn’t do something different, that nothing was going to change.

41:45

And I was just going to keep feeling crappy and it was worse than I was to having migraines every day.

I mean, it was really having an effect on my quality of life, a huge effect and it it’s just a reminder like you said, like we have to show up for ourselves.

42:01

Yeah.

And what does it hurt to try something new even just once, right?

Like I’m so glad I tried it.

I don’t know why.

I never tried it before but it just was perfect timing.

I guess for that, you had that class coming up in a friend, told me about it.

All in an alignment and your do timing when you’re open and willing I want to tap into a quote from James Nestor, he wrote the book, breathe, his quote is something else happens when we practice these techniques willingly when Consciously push our bodies into these states for a few minutes sometimes hours or days.

42:38

I don’t recommend hours or days but in some cases, they can radically transform lives.

It’s just the gift of giving yourself the time to get to the other side.

Now I ad libbed a little bit on his quote but I mean it’s just it’s really you’re so fucking worth it.

42:57

Yeah, we’re so worth it.

You are so worth the healing your so worth it.

A transformation life gets to be beautiful if you allow it.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

And it’s really just so important to show up for yourself.

Like, give yourself that gift.

43:14

I’m going to put Victoria’s contact information in the show notes, so that you can sign-up find her on social media and follow her, and then sign up for her email list because that’s how you get the schedule for your online breath.

43:32

Accessions because that’s how I did.

It was through Zoom.

It does not have to be in person.

It was like I explained extremely effective doing it through Zoom.

It was a great experience.

So I’ll put your contact information for that in the show notes so that people can find you and thank you again, so much for sharing your time with us today.

43:51

Thank you so much.

Heather and thank you for the testimonial of it, being on Zoom to and how it felt in your body.

And how are you were able to move through stuff?

That was stuck that you didn’t even know that was there.

There.

Yeah, absolutely.

We can do powerful things on Zoom to now.

Yes.

44:07

Absolutely.

My gift.

My honor, my pleasure.

Thank you.

Thank you for listening to this episode.

If you want to learn more about my work, go to Heather.

Ross coaching.com if you want to help other parents who are struggling with a child’s addiction, you can do it two different ways.

44:26

First, you can share the podcast with them directly or you can share it on your social media second.

You can leave a review, talk to you next week.

Thank you for listening to this episode.

If you want to learn more about my work, go to Heather.

Ross coaching.com if you want to help other parents who are struggling with a child’s addiction, you can do it two different ways.

First, you can share the podcast with them directly or you can share it on your social media second.

You can leave a review, talk to you next week.